MY OWN MAIN PILLARS OF A PURPOSEFUL LIFE

Source: Image created by Gemeni

From early on in my childhood, my parents made me understand that the heroes I was reading about in story books tended to have two extremes of the same trait. It first caused me a lot of confusion, but over time, my father simplified it for me and I got it for keeps. The best example was that such a hero could be the strongest and at times be the weakest. Depending on the prevailing circumstances, that hero can tap into either to rise above the challenge. Much later in life, I learned that the psychologists called this capability psychological flexibility and believe that emotional resilience and mental strength come from a balance of adaptability and integration of opposing traits.

They also recognise that any positive trait, when pushed to an extreme, can become a liability:

  • High focus can become obsession
  • High caution can become paralysis
  • High productivity can become burnout

The strongest among us can regulate the two and slide between the two opposing traits intentionally to fit what the situation requires.

Now that I am in my 70s, I am able to look back and pick out the four main traits that have been the main drivers of my purposeful life.

AUTHENTICITY

Living to what you are: your own core values and beliefs which make you the unique “You”.

Human beings reach their biological identity at 18 to 25 years of age, yet our personalities continue to change as we go along.

As children, we are hungry to please our parents and later our teachers. Teenagers and youths want to fit in with their peers, so they will do almost anything to belong.

Though our biological brains reach maturity at 25 years of age, becoming the true version of yourself is a lifelong process. Studies show that your personality stabilises around the age of 50. You start to question deep down who you are, what you can become in your lifetime, and what is most important to you as an individual. You then devise a plan of how to get there. Gradually you stop playing along to get along. It is a journey through the external and internal worlds where any choice made and path taken influences your identity. Knowing yourself, owning yourself, and being yourself is a position of great strength and enables you to be highly creative and innovative.

My parents liberated us early enough to want to be ourselves by telling us that each one was a special child who could be anything under the sun. This gave us the confidence to be ourselves. As I get older and more anchored into spirituality, I continue to accept myself as I am and strive to make the most of it by using my talents, knowledge, and skills to impact others’ lives.

Some individuals never get to know their authentic self until they get stripped of the people, like a spouse or children, whom they strongly leaned on for long. Spirituality in itself can deepen the root of one’s authentic self.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

COURAGE

The Oxford English dictionary defines “courage” as the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery.

Each day has its own challenges; some can be life-threatening, like a diagnosis of a serious chronic disease, Alzheimer’s, or late-stage cancer.

I have learned to give myself permission to feel the fear and yet go on to do what is mine to do in such a situation.

  • We all need the courage to be unmoved by people’s opinions or societal pressure.
  • One needs great courage to fight common, inevitable challenges rather than resign oneself to fate.
  • Courage to stand up for any values and principles that you believe in.
  • Courage to act when under great uncertainty and risk by telling yourself that you can still do it.
  • To reinvent yourself at 60, putting some magic into your life that gives you a reason to wake up every day in anticipation.

DISCIPLINE

The self-control of emotions and impulses.

I do not know where I would be if I lacked the discipline to start and finish what I set out to do.

Psychologists consider discipline the most powerful predictor of an individual’s destiny, often outranking raw intelligence in determining long-term and life outcomes. Often, it is a more accurate prediction of high achievement than IQ.

Discipline is created by the cumulative result of daily choices, habits, and resilience. It endows us with organisation, responsibility, and the ability to delay gratification.

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” — Jim Rohn

People may be in the same environment, but it is simple discipline that determines whether one takes up the offer to go for free medical check-ups or not, or whether I drink juice and throw the empty plastic container out of a car window or keep it until I find a good place for its disposal.

As adults, our mental health and well-being are governed by disciplined routines like healthy eating, regular sleep, regular exercise, regular brain exercises, and regular medical check-ups.

Over time, discipline changes from being an exhaustive mental effort into automatic habits. Like charity, discipline begins at home, and children are guided by parents and teachers. At university, we found ourselves with a lot of freedom and independence; it required a lot of discipline and sticking with positive people not to fall off the straight and narrow.

On the other hand, extreme discipline can cause hyper-regulation and rigid perfection, which in themselves can slow down our progress.

Anyone believing in God knows that spirituality powers one’s courage, making it easy to find the bravery to face the day’s challenges and the discipline to keep moving forward.

FUN AND PLAY IN ADULT LIFE

When all is said and done, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” I can safely add that all play and no work makes Jack as poor as a church mouse.

We all need some fun in our lives and the ability to find something beautiful in any situation. Not letting off steam or being constantly serious is not good for our health.

Engaging in fun activities shifts our mindset to playfulness, full engagement in life, and connection with the people and nature around us. Studies suggest having fun taps into the playful part of each individual. It supports emotional balance, eases body tension, and strengthens social connections.

It allows each one to reconnect with one’s inner child: parts of yourself that feel open, curious, and alive. As we become adults, we take on responsibilities, routines, and expectations which push the inner child deep down. We forget having fun, and yet it is essential for mental health and well-being.

Adult playfulness is associated with higher life satisfaction, better coping, and less stress. Intentional fun times stimulate the release of feel-good hormones from the brain. We feel good about ourselves and build strong social connections, becoming more resilient.

Small, repeatable actions like gentle humour, music, gardening, painting, fishing, and other creative hobbies improve our well-being and reduce depressive symptoms in us.

Gardening, writing, voluntary work in my community, and intentionally staying deeply connected with family and friends have helped me bear adversity with great strength, great courage, and dignity.

In today’s fast-paced world, the young and adults suffer from digital overload. Human beings are by nature social animals who thrive best if surrounded by their own kind. As we were traditionally hunters, our brains evolved to perform this craft to the best while ensuring survival in the wild. The brain gives you two options: fight or flee. These two require energy, fitness, quick action, and alertness to succeed. The body produces the adrenal hormone and cortisol (stress hormone) to increase your performance. After such an experience, you eat, rest, and sleep for recovery.

In today’s modern world, smartphones and 24/7 services keep people connected and overloaded with information. Our brains, which are designed to process a limited volume of information in a given moment, feel the mental strain. Feeling threatened stimulates the body to produce stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, simulating a constant fight-or-flight mode. Such a life is very draining and harms us by reducing our mental and emotional well-being. Life stops being a lived experience.

  • The productivity obsession: The new work culture demands that we have to be busy most of the time. Tight deadlines, long working hours, and the pressure to achieve keep the brain and body in the fight-or-flight mode. In some working environments, there is very little time for human interaction. Over time, the demands on your time, attention, and focus can easily make you forget about yourself.
  • Economic and social pressures: The pressure to provide for yourself, family, and dependants in a constantly changing environment creates mental strain, adding insult to injury.

The sobering realisation that life never stops for anyone demands that we all learn how not to be swept away by societal expectations and the hustle culture.

  • Set healthy boundaries – let your no be a no and your yes be a yes.
  • Set time aside for you to rest and just be. It is in these moments of stillness when you find and nurture yourself.
  • Find time to nurture deep, meaningful connections. These become a most important, solid pillar in old age.

Fun time is a biological necessity of healthy adulthood.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” — George Bernard Shaw

For now, I make choices that align with my authentic self, while spirituality has become the lens through which I see and live my truth.

Our experiences consistently remind us to have compassion for ourselves and the discipline to unlearn what no longer serves us while learning and relearning what feeds our minds, bodies, and souls.

QUESTION: What do you normally do when you feel overwhelmed by the demands on you and your time?

THE STRONGEST AND YET MOST VULNERABLE

A sisal rope: individual plant fibres are twisted and braided into a natural tough and durable rope.

I was given the honour and privilege and yet a most difficult task to talk about my childhood best friend on her 75th birthday. Our relationship has ebbed and flowed since 1963. We have withered hurricanes , avalanches, famines, geographical dislocations and civil wars.  We have celebrated graduations, weddings, births, achievements and shared huge losses. Grounded in the spirit  of our shared resilience, we soldier on relentlessly.

“Basajja ssubi: erimu  lisiba linnaalyo. – A Luganda proverb

 Literary meaning that like blades of grass woven together to form  a strong and durable rope, true friends support and uplift one another.

Decades of being each other’s keeper, have laid down layers of memories,  reflections, images  and observations  deep in my subconscious.

I am here struggling arduously to sweep with a broom of brevity and  polish with a sponge of spontaneity as I delineate her unique personality and character while she listens. This in itself is a special gift to both of us since we are still alive and well.

Today, we celebrate a most remarkable woman who truly wears a coat of many colors.

Are you looking for:

A woman not too big to do small things or too small to do big things?

An intellectual with a wealth of skills and experience?

A walking Google or Wikipedia?

A lifetime learner, a lifetime teacher, sponsor or mentor?

A model citizen and a decent human being?

A farmer or a respected, veteran lawyer?

An advocate for girls , women and the marginalised?

A daring woman and yet respectful?

A portrait of a wife and a mother?

A most loyal friend and solid pillar to lean on ?

A champion of honesty and integrity?

An encourager and  up- lifter of others?

A woman with a large heart and infectious smile?

A partner in business or mischief?

A most resilient and yet most vulnerable woman?

Look no further, she is right here in our midst celebrating her 75th Birthday today.

She is doing what she does best: being the strong thread that holds the pearls together and the glue that is tightly binding us to one another.

Just like the rare find of a genuine ,perfect, white ,smooth pearl, you were hard to find but you continue to make us very happy and blessed.

Nanziri, the last three and a half years have been fiercely tough on you.

Where many of us would have buckled and gone down, you are still standing firm, head high and stretching out a helping hand to many others in need.

Looking at you now, I can see an accomplished and resilient African woman of her time-raised in tradition and shaped by modernity.

Every line and wrinkle on your face symbolises your physical and emotional resilience. A lifetime of communicating in a rapidly changing environment.

The lines on your forehead represent decades of responsibility in the family and wider scope.

Your eyes have always seen more than many of us could see  and sometimes ,your face does all the talking.

Your hands have been  the main tools  used to build, sustain and feed your family and community over  lifetimes as you  raised your own and anyone else who needed to be mothered.

The feet have walked and carried  you all along and yet not grown weary.

The scars tell part of the story of your life and some of the struggles won.

Ultimately, your deeds and words continue to write your lasting legacy into the collective memory. Strongest and yet most vulnerable.

 My humble and earnest prayer is that God gives you more years of good health to enjoy the fruits of the seeds of goodness which you have been sowing in all those you have engaged with.

We are all the richer and happier for having you as one of us.

Happy 75th Birthday. May you live to blow out 100 candles while surrounded by your most beloved.

You deserve the loudest applause from all of us here.

THE SILENT THIEF

A Gemini -generated Image

I started this personal blog site almost ten years ago mainly to hone my writing skills while sharing my wealth of knowledge and skills to impact the readers in my small way. What I love most is that I give myself freedom to write on any topic which I consider important at that moment in time. Sometimes I follow what is going on around me and other times; some topics keep showing up in my brain until I write about them. I research the topic that I am writing about to make it balanced. I must admit that I do not write about the politics of the day though I know very well that politics breathes into all aspects of our lives.

I have been led into today’s post by what  I have been observing in the elderly people in my community. I want to draw attention to it and raise awareness of it in our society.

While growing up, the elderly : 70 years and older, were very few in our villages and we treated them with great respect and dignity. Almost all of them were mentally agile and enjoyed relative good health. They walked with the support of a stick. That is how we drew them in our art lessons. My paternal aunt died aged 104 years in 2002. By then I was working in Botswana and came home every 2- 3 years . She surprised me on my last visit when she asked me, “Jane, when did you come back to Uganda?’’

One of my cousins died two years ago aged 104 but still insisting on choosing what she wanted to wear for the day and engaging visitors in flowing conversations and prayer.

However, I have been visiting an 86 years old male relative for the last five years, taking care of his 80-year-old wife suffering from dementia in a society where women nurture and take care of the sick. The children abroad help out by paying for the day care nurse , the food and medicines she requires. Talking to him reveals a frightened person not sure of what will happen next. He is emotionally tired most of the time. Whenever I visit them , I end up being sucked into their situation. I feel his pain of watching a beloved disappear little by little and yet being only able to do so little for her.

It always reminds me of Nicholas Sparks 1996 romance novel entitled The Notebook. It was adapted into a film in 2004. The protagonist Noah watched helplessly as Alice, his childhood sweetheart, wife of 49 years, slowly lose clarity due to Alzheimer’s disease.

“Alzeheimer’s …. It is a barren disease, as empty and lifeless as a desert. It is a thief of hearts and souls and memories.’’- Nicholas Spark, in The Notebook.

 According to the World Health Organisation(WHO) website:  https://www.who.int

  •  dementia is an umbrella term for several diseases affecting memory, thinking, reasoning skills and ability to perform daily activities.
  • It is a chronic progressive disease of the brain caused by damage to it.
  •  It is the 7th leading cause of death and a major cause of disability and dependency among old people worldwide.
  • 9% of dementia occurs in the young while 91% occurs in the 65+years of age. It tends to get worse after 65 years of age.
  • 60-70 percent of dementia are caused by Alzheimer’s disease.
  • It is not an inevitable part of ageing. It has no cure.

Dementia has become more prevalent in the last 50 years. In 2021, about 57 million people were living with dementia worldwide. 10 million new cases are diagnosed each year.

In May 2017, WHO recognised dementia as a public health priority. It drew out  the Global Action on the Public Health Response to Dementia  for 2017-25. It is meant to address the skyrocketing global dementia cases that threaten to overwhelm the health care systems.

It has been officially extended to 2031 as many countries had fallen back on their targets. It serves to increase awareness, reduce stigma, reduce risk of dementia and improve the diagnosis, treatment and care- to improve the quality of life and daily functioning while supporting their care givers.

The increase in cases is associated with an increase in the ageing populations and some modifiable health and lifestyle factors.

 Some Scientific studies have associated this increase rate with the increased use of chemical pollutants , fertilisers and insecticides in the last fifty years.

Pesticides are known to act as neurotoxins : toxins to nerve cells of insects and have been proved to accumulate over time in the human body. Chronic exposure to low levels of  environment pesticides  leads to their accumulation  in the brain cells , causing damage that results in age-related cognitive decline.

The changes in the brain start years before the clinical signs appear. As dementia develops slowly and invisibly, it is often called “ the silent thief’’.

Pesticide –related health risk remains a controversial topic that demands for more ongoing scientific cohort and cross-sectional studies in different populations.

 In some epidermiology studies, the increased chronic exposure to pesticides in some agricultural zones has been associated with higher rates of Alzheimer’s disease in the populations.

 Bill Gates, the American billionaire entrepreneur and philanthropist, a co- founder of the software company Microsoft(1975) , experienced the agony of watching his father whom he refers to as a ‘’ a giant in every sense of the word, slowly but steadily lose himself as he suffered from Alzheimer’s for almost thirteen years.  He died aged 94 years in 2020.

Since then Bill Gates has donated 300 million USD to Alzheimer’s disease Research:

  • To encourage researchers to work together and share information
  • To work with commercial partners to develop simple, better diagnostic tests and making them accessible.
  • Improve current treatments
  • Develop new accessible treatments
  • Study more and understand the pathology of the disease.

Previously, the diagnostic tests relied on invasive spinal taps or expensive PET scans.  Before the PET scans, the disease could only be confirmed after microscopic examination of the brain of a dead patient.

Available information indicates that since May 2025, there has been a blood-based diagnostic test for adults aged 55+  showing cognitive symptoms in USA. This is no mean achievement.

More thoroughly researched break throughs are likely to occur if more funds are made available.

According to the Uganda Bureau of Statistics report of the National Population and Housing Census of 2024:

Uganda’s life expectancy has increased to 68.2 years.

Male averaging 66.9 years female averaging 70.1 years

The 60 + now are 5.0% of the population of 45.9 million

We are likely to see an increase in dementia cases.

We need to take precautions, increase awareness about the disease so as to reduce the risk of developing it.

 Not forgetting that Uganda  is mainly an agricultural country and  the use of synthetic fertilisers and pesticides which find their way into the water, food  and air, is on the increase.

 In my own circle, a number of friends; male and female, have been diagnosed with dementia in the last six years. It is very scary for many of us as the health care system is inadequate. Patients with dementia and their carers have very little support apart from family and friends.

We are left with focusing on the modifiable health lifestyle changes to reduce the risk of developing the disease.

These protect the brain and heart health. They include:

  • Regular exercises
  • Stopping the use of tobacco
  • Minimising the use of alcohol
  • Having a balanced diet and nutrition
  • Daily mental stimulation to challenge your brain. Keep learning new things.
  • Proper management of medical conditions like High Blood Pressure, Type 2 Diabetes and high cholesterol blood levels
  • Preventing injury to the head by wearing helmets and seatbelts.
  • Spend time engaging with family, friends, the community and nature.
  • Adequate regular sleep at night (7-8 hours)
  • Minimising indoor, outdoor environmental pollution.

These  two quotes about Alzheimer’s disease are enough to convey the devastating effects of the disease: The Mind Thief.

“Alzheimer disease is the silent thief that slips into your mind at night, stealing your most precious memories, your words, and your very identity, leaving you awake in a house of strangers that used to be your life.’’- Wendy Mitchell, a renown British author and global dementia advocate after being diagnosed with it, aged 58 years in 2014.

“Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief, she not only steals from you , she steals the very thing that you need to remember what’s  been stolen’’ -Jarod Kintz

QUESTION : Are you seeing what I am seeing in the elderly around us?

Has this post helped you recognise the need for changes in your lifestyle to reduce the risk of developing dementia?

WE LIVE IN A HIGHLY COMPETITIVE WORLD

Surprisingly, the world has become more fiercely competitive and uncertain than it was when I wrote this article in October 2019. More so for the young generations. Social media seems to have taken over our lives as the young get addicted to posting, likes and comments. They forget that some things are too personal to be shared on platforms and that this has consequences. Many of them are trying to look as if they are having their act together when actually, in the real world, they are struggling to make ends meet like the majority of us; in a tight economy and a rapidly changing and uncertain world. The older generation is struggling to have genuine conversations with the young even about important matters concerning them. I feel that we , the seniors, still have the collective responsibility to help and guide the young into living out the best approach to life: being real. A satisfying life is lived moment by moment- savoured and appreciated for what it is , absorbing what it is offering you and making sense of it all. The good and the ugly, for that is what life is made of. As you learn from the experiences of each stage in your life, you grow and improve yourself and are able to be more useful to yourself and your community. Always remember that your values and goals are your life’s compass.

WE LIVE IN A HIGHLY COMPETITIVE WORLD

SHADES OF GREEN

I was raised right in the city of Kampala,Uganda and in a village about 70 kilometres west of Kampala, along the Kampala-Fortportal Road.
My parents never feared getting their hands dirty especially when we were on holiday on our 100 acres mixed farm in the village.
Now that I have been forced to use my land other than forfeit it to the squatters who settled on it while I was away, the childhood memories of being immersed into nature keep flashing back in quick succession.
My father, being a top official of the Lint and Coffee Marketing Board of the time, focused more on the coffee and cotton fields on the farm. He would ask us to go down with him to engage with the workers. He taught us how to harvest selectively the ripe coffee berries and rewarded us on the quality of what we picked other than the volume.
On the other hand, my mother was required by tradition to ensure food security for the family throughout the year. One particular memory that has stayed with me all these years : is how I was kept busy while on holiday from the prestigious boarding school in Kampala. Early morning, several times a week, I would accompany my mother to any of her three banana gardens at different stages, to prune the stems. The banana stems stretched as far as my eyes could see, they were well mulched with elephant grass by the workers and trenches to retain the rain water were dug between the long rows. Cow manure from the kraal nearby, would be used to enrich the soil. Indigenous trees like the muvule and mutuba (bark cloth tree), planted between the stems, provided shades from the scorching sun. Vines of passion fruits and indigenous yams climbed over these trees. My mother would carry my young sister, May, about three years old, over her shoulder while I followed her along carrying the African reed basket /cot and a mat. She would find the right tree shade and set up base there. She would cut old, dry banana leaves and use them as the cushion over which she would rest the mat and the baby in the cot. My instructions were simple: “ Play with the baby and watch over her. When she falls asleep , cover the cot with this net. Call me if you have any difficulty.”

Since the gardens were meticulously maintained, I never worried about snakes or rats.

For the next two hours or so, she would prune the banana stems ; cutting off old leaves and extra ones using a sharp knife fixed onto a long wooden pole. Initially I had asked her why she had to remove these leaves and she explained that removing them left the stem to focus on producing big bunches of matooke and the old leaves helped to mulch the garden. Mulching kept the soil moist. She also had a big plot under shade for growing indigenous vegetables like Nakati( solanum aethiopicum) Doodo( amaranthus dubius) Jjobyo( cat’s whiskers and the smallest bitter African eggplants.
Left on my own, I would then sing May all the nursery rhymes and Christian choruses that I had learned in Sunday school at my school. She was easy to look after and fell asleep fast. Then I would be free to roam in nature. I would look around for fresh purple passion fruits, some fresh guavas and some yellow sweet-tangy gooseberries. I would fold the front of my free dress into a pouch to carry my fresh harvest , ran back to May, sit down and enjoy the delicious

fruits to the full. Before returning home, I would pick wild flowers of different colours to decorate my bedroom. Looking back, I would gladly claim that I was nurtured by nature. I always looked forward to these wanderings.

Unknowingly, my mother was giving me the gift of appreciating the ability to work with one’s hands , the freedom, curiosity and spontaneity of engaging with nature and caring for the vulnerable like babies. The running between the rows of banana stems could have played a role in turning me into an outstanding athlete at my school. I remain eternally grateful for this gift. Up to today, when I feel that I am close to losing myself, I just go out into nature to find myself and my place in the universe. Nature sharpens my five senses of touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste and stretches my imagination. It calms me down.
It also heals.
After 12 years as a homemaker and delivering six of us, my mother chose to go back to work as a senior midwife for almost 40 years. Astonishingly, she still has her green fingers. She is now aged 94 years. She still complains when her backyard banana garden and vegetable plot are not well-tendered. Amazingly, she still herds her cattle remotely using her phone!
The psychologists tell us that:

• A natural wild environment reduces stress by providing a calm space that allows sensory engagement and emotional regulation.
• It has the ability to trigger positive psychological and physiological responses- little wonder then Sir David Attenborough of UK who has been engaged in protecting and saving planet Earth , celebrated 100 years on 8th May 2026 despite having lost his wife of 47 years in 1997.
• A natural environment calms the brain and enables it to rest and restore itself unlike the bustling urban life that most people live today.
• It is associated with increased creativity and problem – solving skills, increased self-esteem and happiness. To live is to be alive: aware of who you are and your surroundings and engaging fully with life.

” I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.”– Henry David Thoreau


Over the years, my love for nature has grown by leaps and bounds and I keep collecting photographs of the natural wild which I share often.

Enjoy a few of these:

THE POST –RAINS DIFFERENT SHADES OF GREEN AROUND MY AREA.


The open grassland in my home village

A bunch of Matooke( plantains) in my garden

Young Coffee berries

A lemon tree in full bloom

A flourishing fern.


My mother’s back yard turned into a bush within the ten days that the part time gardener has been away tendering his banana and coffee gardens in the village during the heavy rainy season.

The earth has the power to renew itself after a drought or a bush fire, we too have the ability to rediscover ourselves after a tragedy , huge loss or a period of intense pressure.
Engaging with nature consistently is essential in this healing process or rediscovery.


QUESTION :

How often in a week do you go out in nature to unplug and recharge your mental batteries?

Has this post enticed you to do it more often?

WHO PAID FOR THE SERVICES OF MY LONGTIME DENTIST?

A TRIBUTE TO DR. GEORGE WILLIAM SSAMULA ( 21st December 1944- 26th August 2025)

George and Betty on their wedding day in March 1981

George was among the first six indigenous Ugandan dental surgeons.

On 26th August 2025, I woke up to the shocking news of the death of my dentist of over fifty years, Dr George Williiam Ssamula.
He had been in the Intensive Care Unit of one of the hospitals in Kampala, Uganda for some weeks but still the news left me shattered for I had lost a friend, a guide and a dentist all in one. A frequent reminder that death is part of life and that life continues beyond each one of us. I had visited the family watching over their beloved patriarch and doing whatever was possible to make his life comfortable.
I had recently seen him with his wife at the funeral service of a colleague’s daughter and we had briefly caught up on each other’s lives.


I first met George while I was a second year medical student at Makerere University, residing in Africa Hall- one of two all women halls at the time. Makerere University was then the only national university and there were about twenty women students in our cohort. As was the custom, we were early birds, typically the first ones to wake up, have our breakfast in the cafeteria hall then walk briskly across the Katanga slum, a place teeming with humanity.
It would take us fifteen minutes on a normal day but about 30 minutes in the rainy season. Whatever the season, lectures started at 8am on the dot. In the evening we would walk back in groups but during the clinical years we would stay longer in the hospital wards. This made us close to one another and by the final year we had become each other’s keeper more so during President Amin Dada’s tyrannical rule.
Betty Lwanga , a third year student was dating a handsome , tall, lanky dentist working in the Mulago Hospital dental department. George was rather shy but outgoing and used to drive us as Betty’s friends, around Kampala and taking us out for drinks, to bachelors’ parties and night clubs in his grey fiat car.
Both Betty and George were from Masaka , further South and were staunch Catholics. They got married a few years after Betty’s graduation in 1976 and were blessed with a family of six girls and two boys. The boys were the youngest members of the family. Like the local weed Kanyebwa, their family grew bigger as they took on young girls and boys from both their families in Masaka.


Betty worked as a medical officer in Mulago hospital while George continued working at the Mulago public health Dental Assistants’ school.
From the onset, George encouraged us to have dental check-ups and cleaning and these were always free. In the 80s, he was instrumental in reviving the Uganda Dental Surgeons Association which later pushed for the introduction of the Bachelor of Dental Surgery at Makerere Univesity in 1982. The first batch graduated in 1987.
George resigned from the Ministry of Health and opened a private dental clinic at Uganda House right in the city centre. With a small group of loyal assistants and Betty in the shadows, he built up a big practice still standing today. After 1987, he opened it up as an internship site for the newly graduated dentists.
As a student, he was a brilliant person who worked his way through the best Catholic schools of the time namely St.Henry’s Kitovu and Namilyango College. Then he won himself a scholarship to study Bachelor of Dental Surgery in Birmingham, UK in 1972.


He was the real portrait of a dental surgeon as the work demands of them:
• Exceptionally dexterous with meticulous attention to details- the mouth is a small area that requires a dentist to have steady hands and to practice with and coordinate delicate instruments,
• Strong communications skills- mandatory to help patients understand complex procedures in simple terms to gain the patient’s trust and cooperation.
• Empathy and compassion- a dentist room and chair can be very intimidating to the young and old at each visit. Each visit is its own adventure.

• Lifelong learning and adaptability- vital in this digital technology-driven 21st century where things change very fast. So regular updates of your knowledge of new techniques and materials are imperative. At the same time, they have to consistently teach their patients about oral health and health in general.
• Being responsible and accountable- from how you present yourself: clean and tidy when handling patients to make them feel safe and at ease under your care while giving them quality care.
• Trustworthy and a person of integrity- dental procedures are usually painful and patients require an honest and reliable dentist with whom to trust their health.
• Team work- dentist do not work alone but are assisted by a group of people. The dentist has to be decisive, highly confident and result orientated.

For the fifty years I knew George, he was never a performer but just himself. In his white coat, mask and gloves, clean shaven and smiling he would ease the tension between the two of you. In his soft voice but with little said, he would make you as relaxed as he was. My brain would accept and make me ready for the procedure. I have never overcome the fear of needle pricks so he always gave me some time to settle down and before I knew it, the procedure would be done. With long procedures, he would tell you the truth without apologies.
As he removed his gloves, he would remind me of the 3-3-3 rule for oral health: Brush 3 times a day for 3 minutes, floss 3 times a day and change your toothbrush every 3 months.
My children, my sisters and friends were treated by him for years, being drawn to him for his habit of being real and honest. His pleasant demeanour would make people feel safe in his presence.
For the two and a half decades I was away, he took care of my mother’s dental care and instilled it in her to have annual dental check- ups. He never allowed her to pay for the service except, four years ago, when he had her fitted with dentures mainly to enjoy her meat. The dentures were made in Mengo hospital and that was what she paid for.


In Botswana , I was on Medical Aid and could be seen by at least by 2 dentists: one from Ghana, trained in UK and another well trained from Tanzania. They always marvelled at the dental fillings and the health of my teeth. They could hardly believe that they were all done in Uganda. They are still intact today.
On my return , I visited the clinic and my file was still intact among the oldest in the clinic! The old faithful receptionist and dental assistants were still serving. Betty was still occupying her small office at the back, making sure that things ran like clockwork.
There were many nuns of different ages, in their blue or grey robes and some Catholic fathers.
Apparently, little had changed as those men and women of the Catholic church were treated for free as it had been in the beginning. That unanswered question of more than fifty years flashed in my mind : Who paid for his services?

Proverb 11: 25 Be generous and you will be prosperous. Water others, and you will be watered.
We talked of his looming retirement. His dentist daughter trained in UK preferred to work in UK. He had brought in a lady dentist but still George’s queue remained long.
In all this, we commended Betty in her quiet strength and insight, for running everything else : home, a career, other businesses and the extended family while George worked 8-5pm and sometimes beyond.
As a person, George, was God-fearing, kind-hearted and fun loving. He was a natural philanthropist; always building up people and contributing to building churches and schools, he was also a community library.
He was one person who felt free to show his vulnerability as a human. In the late 80s, he lost his father, his mentor. As he, his mother and siblings followed the casket to the grave, he was barefooted!


With our African extended families, I cannot count the number of weddings, baptisms, graduations and housewarmings that we have celebrated together alongside our storms and problems.
The girls and boys are down to earth warm children who treat others with respect.
They are professionals in gainful employment. They are productive people with homes of their own.
They are leaders at their places of work and in their local churches. They never miss the opportunity to meet as one big family at any of their homes.
I watched them take surgical precision control over the support and care of their father as he lay fighting for his life in the ICU.
During the vigil held in their home perched on Mbuya hill, mourner after mourner paid glowing tribute to George. Two constants kept coming through. “He treated me and my children for free.’’ “He pushed me to buy land and build a home.’’
My adult children remembered him fondly as the dentist who fixed their teeth for free!
Later, as I retired in bed, I kept asking myself that same nagging question:
Who paid George for his services at the clinic?

George and Betty launched their children into the world with strong family values, a firm Christian foundation and the best education available while keeping them grounded.
He ensured that they could go on and flourish without their parents.
”’No legacy is so rich as honesty.’’- William Shakespeare
For our dental surgery, we shall continue going there knowing very well that George trusted the lady dentist running it beyond any doubt that she would offer us what we needed and expected.
As for my sincere friend, Betty, you lost a soul mate.
You were the woman who helped him give of his best to us.
The children and grandchildren and the memories you created together will serve as beacons of light and hope along the next phase of your journey. No doubt you will flourish.
George, you lived to enjoy the fruits of your labour and you finished strong. As long as we still have a few teeth left and keep brushing them 3 times a day, we will always remember you with fondness and gratitude.

You were among the cream of the crop of your time. You taught us and pushed us to be much more and to do much more for ourselves and others.

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.’’– Albert Einstein

REST WITH THE ANGELS,GEORGE!

PROVERBS AND QUOTES TO ENCOURAGE YOU ALONG AS YOU START 2026.

The pink tiger lily.

Each season in our lives serves the purpose of preparing us

 for the next one.

One thing is for sure: life goes on regardless of our wishes– time and tide wait for no man.

Each one of us has the great responsibility of creating  a future he/she deserves. One has to keep moving upward and forward. One famous quote says ,

“ Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.’’

 “Life is not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it’s about doing, being and becoming.’’- Mike Dooley

“ I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.’’- Thomas Jefferson

“Without life, I cannot think of a future beyond where I am.’’ – African Proverb

 Quotes and proverbs whisper truths that stay with us for long. I have compiled some quotes and proverbs to inspire and encourage us to move into the future, not forgetting that the future comes to us one second at a time and that the best time to live is the NOW. You savour each moment as it is the only time you can actually experience, act or find joy. Engage all your senses in the NOW because it reduces the anxiety from past regrets or future worries.

No doubt , the best time to do anything useful is Now since the Past is already gone and the future is yet to come.

If we are to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past , each one of us always has to actively analyze and acknowledge what went wrong, accept it and pick lessons from it to guide you into the now and the future.

SOME GUIDING AFRICAN PROVERBS ACROSS GENERATIONS

Sosolye bwatafa, atuuka kulyengedde– the bird that survives a hunter’s trap lives on to enjoy the bananas of the next harvest.

Bwekatarigyirya eribiika amaggi– loosely translated says that a female chick that survives being eaten by a hawk, grows up to lay some eggs and produce more birds.

When the roots are deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.

A little hope each day can fill rivers to overflowing.

It is better to live as a lion for one day rather than 100 years as a sheep.

The strength of the crocodile is in the water- people can be very strong in their right environment.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

Trouble does not discriminate. It comes to everyone at some point.

Not everyone who chased the zebra caught it, but he who caught it, chased it.

Once you carry your own water, you’ll remember every drop.

Even the lion protects herself against the flies.

All monkeys cannot hang from the same branch.

The axe forgets but the tree remembers.

Don’t think that there are no crocodiles just because the water is calm.

Lack of knowledge is darker than the night.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

Wisdom is like a baobab tree; no one individual can embrace it.

In the moment of crisis, the wise build bridges, and the foolish build dams.

The wise man never takes a step too long for his leg.

We have to learn to be proactive –taking initiatives and acting in advance of future situations, needs  or problems rather than merely react to events as they occur.

We are living in the digital era ; with constant stimulation. The only way to claim clarity and psychological control is to develop surgical focus. If sustained, such focus, builds confidence, discipline and resilience despite the overwhelming Digital noise.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.’’- J.P Morgan

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.’’– John . D. Rockefeller

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.’’- Socrates

“Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.’’- Hellen Keller

“Strength shows not in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.’’– F. Scoff Fitzgerald

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.’’– Henry David Thoreau

“What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year.’’– Vern Melellan

“You will never win if you never begin.’’- Helen Rowland

“I close my eyes to old ends and open my heart to new beginnings.’’ – Nick Frederickson.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.’’– Neale Donald Walsch

“There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.’’- C.S Lewis

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.’’– Nelson Mandela

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.’’- Eleanor Roosevelt

“The new year stands before us , like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.’’– Unknown

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.’’- Eleanor Roosevelt

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hullo.’’- Paulo Coelho

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.’’- Carl Bard

We are social animals by nature who need social support systems to thrive. We are given to each other to be there for one another- sharing, encouraging and lifting each other up and learning from one another. Regular human connection keeps us healthy; less stressed and our immune systems function better. Technology seems to be connecting us but face- to-face interaction is superior.

At the end of it all, it is the mental strength, emotional strength, spiritual strength combined with physical strength that keep us going; pushing us beyond our perceived limits.

May 2026 be the year you become brave enough to conquer the limiting beliefs that have kept you playing small.

QUESTION:

Are you all set for action?