Tag: stimulate you into action

GIFT GIVING DURING THE FESTIVE SEASON

A traditional Christmas tree with the Star of Bethlehem at the top. It was decorated by my daughter and her four years old daughter.

I am a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. When we had sinned and separated ourselves from God, our Father, Jesus was called by the Spirit of the Lord to put us right with God.
This was born out of God’s love, mercy and faithfulness to us.
John 3:16 reads : For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.
It is this great love and sacrifice that should not be lost in the hustles and bustles of the Christmas season.
After the shepherds, the three wise men from the east, were the second group of people to look for Jesus in the town of Bethlehem in Judea guided by the star in the east. They presented the baby Jesus with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The gift giving of Christmas is linked to the spirit of giving gladly.

Giving to those in need is considered as an act worship of God. God delights in doing good things for us so we should also find great pleasure in giving to others every day, throughout the 365 days not just at Christmas time. God loves a cheerful giver.
My favourite quote about giving says: “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.’’- Kahlil Gibran

It is good to know that at Xmas time, the world shares the thought of giving and sharing which itself reflects caring about others.
I have celebrated more than sixty-five Christmases and as I look back, I realise that getting the right gift to the right person changes as one grows older and what he/she considers most important in life changes.
When I was under 12 years old, my perfect gifts for the season were dresses, shoes, dolls, books and sweets and cakes.
As a teenager, it was about the trendy wear of the day, a book and some Quality Street Assorted Chocolates Sweets!
30s-40s – Something that could add real value to me. Something I could use over and over again like a pair of golden ear rings or an African beads necklace.
50-60 – Something that increased my joy, fun and trust of the human being. It varied simply from spending quality time with loved ones, what makes me feel alive and special, opportunities to contribute to the well- being of others and guiding others into helping themselves and reaching their full potential.
65+ The wisdom of Age has taught me that the secret of living is giving and that non- economic ways of giving to others in the form of presence, attention, encouragement and compliments are more fulfilling to the giver than bought gifts.
Acts 20:35 reads: It is more blessed to give than to receive. We live in an era of consumerism and most of us have become addicted to the emotional boost of buying something new. Simply collecting goods and material possessions. In the process we may forget those in need.
Giving the right Gift.
I can vividly recall the smiles on my face when I was given what I really wanted at that moment in time. Not forgetting that each gift represented love, hope and kindness of the giver.
Giving the right gift involves listening and observing to know the needs, desires and wishes of the receiver. Mothers are endowed with this intuition!
After all, giving gladly has mutual benefits; : it enriches the receiver and the donor. It nurtures and enriches our relationships.
“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.’’ – Will Smith.

Research in human behaviour by the psychologists proves that giving others gladly makes us happy. Using Brain Imaging, it shows that both giving gifts and receiving gifts activates core areas of our brains associated with reward and pleasure. When these areas are activated, they release the ‘feel good chemicals like Serotonin and Dopamine which give us a sense of pleasure. This explains why we feel good when we give to others.
Most times, we are motivated to give to others without expecting anything back out of empathy, compassion, love and humility.
“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.’’- Mother Teresa.

Love is action; it has to be expressed in small acts of kindness that add up to build the big picture- caring about a person. The receiver feels that he/she matters.
For a true believer in Christ, faith is expressed in actions done with love, for love and in love.

Toxic Giving.
Like all human interactions, giving can be abused. Some people who want to control and manipulate others in abusive relationships use gifts.
Some charity organisations can also offer toxic charity to the poor by giving them what they can gain by their own initiative. The giver focuses on the rewards other than the benefits received by the served. In the process they turn the poor into dependants on the charity.

“When we do for those in need what they have capacity to do for themselves, we disempower them.’’ – Robert d. Lupton

Having received gifts from my parents for many years and learned to give generously to my children who are now giving to their children and myself I am reminded with absolute clarity of the greatest gift which parents can give to their children.
As a child, I remember being told by my parents that the greatest gift they could give me could never be bought from a toy shop or wrapped up into a box. That gift was how they were to live their lives as role models to me. By doing exactly what they wanted me to do and be, they inspired and empowered me to be principled , authentic and a decent human being. I will remain for ever grateful to them for liberating me to be myself: authentically happy, fulfilled, whole and always wanting to be more and do more for myself others.
I never understood what they meant until many years later when as a medical student, I spent three months in training about mental illnesses and their causes, at the national mental hospital then.
That experience revealed to me how the relationships with children and their parents had a lasting effect on the children’s relationships with themselves and other people. The parents’ influence always remains present in the conscious or unconscious level. When parents live their lives as models of honesty, integrity, authentic while acknowledging their flaws as human beings, it empowers their children to live their own lives in their own rights. They learn some coping mechanisms from their parents and learn to find moment –by-moment delight in daily life. It attracts like-minded people towards them. Their parents set them free to be their own authority in adulthood.
When parents fail to live out their lives as role models to their children, the parents’ unlived life of abandoned dreams, unrealised values, incomplete realisation of their life’ s vision, leaves their children in misery and suffering. They are closed up to the full creative expression of who they can truly be. Such awkward moments cause anxiety and depression which may last long.

Looking back at my life, I am grateful that after a loving and supportive family, I have always had some genuine and loyal friends who are always willing to do things for me, gift me and my children with presents and time. Amazingly, they are now extending their gift giving to my grandchildren! Thankfully, I have always intentionally endeavoured to give of my time, efforts, energy and resources to them too.
As the Baganda say: Generosity extended to my children and grandchildren is as good as generosity extended to me.
I will always remain grateful to these loyal friends.

My culture has some rich proverbs to encourage generosity among ourselves:
Akatono Okalya nemunno. Loosely translated: Even the little in your hands, can be shared with a friend.
Ekiisa ekitagaana kizaala obulimba: Saying “yes’’ to everything breeds lies.
Entasiima ebula agiwa : A luck of gratitude burns up your blessings.
Alinda biwere alisanga nnyina afudde : If you want to build up your reserves, to gift your mother she will die waiting.

OTHER QUOTES ABOUT GIVING
2 Corinthians 9:7 : You should each give, then, as you have decided, not with regret or out of a sense of duty; for God loves the one who gives gladly.
Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.’’- unknown
“Alone we can do so little ; together we can do so much more.’’ Helen Keller
“ No one has ever become poor by giving.’’- Anne Frank
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.’’ Winston Churchill
“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.’’ -Maya Angelou
“It’s every man’s objective to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.’’ - Albert Einstein

As you look around for the perfect gift at any particular occasion, consider the needs, desires and wishes of the receiver
This Xmas do not allow the original meaning of the Xmas message of sacrifice and giving be lost in the merry making.
The two years of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown crystallised to all of us what is most important in our lives namely: Life itself and nurturing and staying connected to deep, healthy relationships – family and friends.

My dear followers, readers, family and friends thank you for walking with me along this long journey of becoming an outstanding writer and making the world a better place in my small way.
Without your support, I would have made just a few baby’s steps but you and I have been able to walk far since I started this Blog in October 2016.
Thank you very much for your unwavering support and feedback.
Wishing you a Merry Xmas and year filled with love, peace, joy, good health and wealth.
Jane Nannono.

A NEW CANVAS

I remember when I was in senior secondary school decades ago, I wanted to drop out of the Fine Art class so I paid very little attention to it. I never completed any painting and at the end of the double lessons, I would deliberately store my unfinished , unsigned painting in a drawer for the lower classes’ work. Each week I would have no painting to complete so I would start on a new one right away. Surprisingly, the Arts teacher never noticed my trick. It went on for almost a year and it would have continued had not the Ministry of Education changed the grading and examination for the Ordinary Level students. Among the new changes was that the course work for the two years would account for 33% of the total marks of the final examination while the examination papers themselves accounted for the rest. I was in a total mess so I came up with the idea of talking the Headmistress into allowing me to drop Fine Art and devote the extra time to French. One afternoon ,I talked to her, I pleaded, begged and cajoled for her to allow me to drop Fine Art. She opened the big record book that contained all the students’ results for some years. She combed through mine and looked up, “ I ‘ve heard your request and I ‘ve also studied your examination results from Senior two to the present. All the years you’ve been able to pass all the subject brilliantly except Fine Art. I know that you haven’t paid attention to it. If you put your mind to it, you would pass it too.’’
I cried hysterically but the white lady never gave in. She had seen enough African tears to tell the difference! She had told me the bald truth. I walked away in despair but changed my attitude towards the subject there and then. The first thing I had to do was to find my own time to start and complete as many paintings as I could under the genres of Composition, Drawing, Still Life and Nature. It was a daunting task but since the course work was to account for a third of the total score in the finals, I focused on it. I gave it my all.
Guess what ! I passed Fine Art with a good credit. For my Headmistress it was a case of ‘ I told you so.’
The two great lessons I learned from this experience were: when you start something with enthusiasm, you have to finish it with enthusiasm and secondly that unfinished work is as good as no work; you stay where you are.

Fast Forward, 2018 has passed and we are now in 2019.
Out with the Old and in with the New. Each one of us has a mission and purpose on this earth and each new year gives us an opportunity to start afresh on something that fits into our life’s mission.
Before you start on the new, you have to complete the old by taking time to reflect on it.
You have to go through what you set out to do in 2018:
List your success, your achievements and failures.
List your strengths and weaknesses
List what you would have done better and how you would have done it.
List the great lessons you picked from your experiences of 2018.
Bearing your life’s mission in mind, then go on to determine the true priorities for 2019.
From here, then set your Vision and Goals for 2019. This should be followed by drawing a clear, specific , achievable Plan of how to achieve the goals for 2019.
Immediately, get into action to paint the New Canvas.

We are all artist ; creating our lives and writing our own scripts as we fulfill our visions and goals for each year.
I have come to look at the journey of life as a Marathon and each new year allows me to focus on the end in mind. The race starts in my mind then I plan and set my pace to get to the end without forgetting that there are other runners around me.

While creating our lives and living them, we have to remember that creating great works demands for great imaginations. It is the imagination that helps you to interpret the world around you in an artistic way.
Michelangelo the greatest sculptor said:
“ I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.’’
“ Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the Sculptor to discover it.”
It is always hard work to release the potential within you. You need to find a balance between childlike spontaneity, openness and maturity, skill and wisdom to create a better life as you uncover the buried potential in you. Your creations express who you are and what you think and know at that moment in time.
Over time, you become so good that your creations express the beauty and significance even in the most horrible experiences like the loss of a spouse. You can only produce your greatest work: things that are deeply meaningful, beautiful and moving, after you have come to know, accept and appreciate who you really are. You create things out of the truth of who you are. If you are a writer, this is when you are said to be writing down your Soul , if a singer you are said to be singing from the heart and an architect is said to be creating houses with souls. Your heart, mind and soul work together in tandem. Your efforts to create no longer feel like work or labour but instead give you a sense of great joy. It is fun to do what you love and enjoy.

The aim of creations is to bring out the beauty and significance in your life and of others around you.
The losses, the doubts, fears and failures we experience each year serve to inform us as we create our lives in the New Year. You never deny anything that happened to you but you accept them as worthy and valuable. What you have overcome, dealt with or failed to achieve teaches you a lesson you need later in the New Year.
Honesty and authenticity tend to come to us in old age for by then we have stopped living in defined roles instead do what we feel is right and is our own to do. It takes a lot of courage to break all the rules and norms to be ‘you’. This explains why expressing your true story is a painful process and yet it is a great moment of liberation.
If each individual is true to herself /himself then we can collectively make a better world.
Jane Nannono, The Last Lifeline(2015)
THE GIFT OF TIME
We all mellow with the years.
Like good wine we become better people:
older , wiser and respected,
we have hindsight and know who we really are.
We have found our purpose and meaning in life;
We have learnt from our mistakes and grown from our failures.
We are comfortable with ourselves ,
we look at things in their true perspective;
no jaundiced views, no tinted glasses, no veils or masks.
We are our own bosses and have learnt to say ‘no’,
we have stopped playing along to get along.
We have stopped feeling guilty and now do what is right.
We have learnt to forgive ourselves and to laugh at ourselves.
We have learnt to love ourselves and unashamedly put ourselves first.
We only do what adds value to our lives;
what we love and enjoy doing.
Being comfortable with whom we are, simply being ourselves.

QUESTION:
In this New Year are you ready to respond creatively and anew to each new experience?
Or are you still limited by social conditioning ; working within predefined roles and being defined by the roles?
The New Year has already begun so you should have started painting on the New Canvas. Do not wait as I foolishly did in my Fine Art class decades ago; it caught up with me and I paid a huge price for it. The wisest among us always learn from other people’s mistakes.