Tag: inspiring

Carl Segan said: “ One of the greatest gifts adults can give to their offspring and to society is to read to children.”

As far as I can remember, we used to spend our long Christmas holidays  at our home in the village,  75 kilometres along the Kampala / Fort portal road.  Our home was built on a hundred acre mixed farm surrounded by rolling green hills. It was a big house, had a concrete tank at  each of the four corners, to harvest rain water, there were fruit trees everywhere; mangoes, avocado,  pawpaws, soursop, jack fruits, oranges and lemons.

We used a gas cooker to cook in the house and firewood in the outside kitchen. My young siblings and I and my mother enjoyed helping on the farm in the mornings, harvesting ripe coffee , cotton and maize. We could never have enough of the fresh passion fruits, pineapples and gooseberries. In the evenings we could go to the kraal watch the milking of the cows and carry some milk to the house.

The best part of our day was the time just before supper. Without any reminder, each one would quickly shower , change into clean clothing and gather in the sitting room.  We would sit closely together with our father- dressed simply in a white tunic and slippers, under the bright light of a spirit lamp.

Eyes wide with expectation and ears as long as dogs’ ears , we would listen attentively and intensely to our father as he told us numerous  Ganda  folklores. He would use stories to explain why maize was called Kasooli, a goat  – embuzi  and many other items. With simple, spellbinding eloquence, he would explain to us how Nambi, the first Ganda woman, brought sickness – Olumbe  to her own people. I would be fascinated by these stories and I would ask many questions for clarification. Some days we would read the Ladybird series of  books together. We also had a big, well illustrated book entitled The Holy Bible and You. He taught each one of us to read stories aloud to the others and to retell them after reading books . It was great fun that was only interrupted by the BBC World Service News at 8pm.

On other days, he would just teach us to recite our lineage in the Leopard-Ngo  clan and our specific jobs in the Kabaka’s palace. Those of the Ngo clan are the grandfathers of the Buganda kingdom so they never  do any manual labour. We just decorate the place where the Kabaka holds court and weave the traditional crown that is worn by the new Kabaka at his Coronation.

I have known this since the age of six and I do not think that it has changed in any way. Actually, I remember in July 1993 just before the coronation of  Ssabataka  Ronald Muwenda  Mutebi 11 as the 36^th Kabaka of Buganda at the traditional site at Naggalabi near Buddo, my cousin, Robert, who was by then the Katikkiro of our clan was on tenterhooks until  some old men had hunted a leopard whose skin was to be used with the throne. A new Kabaka has to use a new leopard skin as a carpet.

My father also taught us to write legibly but writing Luganda has never been easy for me.When I close my eyes now, I can see my father and us engaged fully in a conversation about a book or a story. Later in adulthood, we would discuss the news and books written  by African Writers like Chinua Achebe, Ngugi  wa Thiong’o , David Rubadiri and short stories written by Ugandan writers  like Erisa Kironde.

The most interesting story that our father told us was about him- how for five years he walked barefooted to the most prestigious boys’ school of the time: Kings College Buddo.  This school was opened  in 1906 by the Church Missionary Society of Britain to educate the princes and sons of the chiefs in Buganda. It is located about eighty kilometres from my father’s parents’ home.

My father would take three days to get  to the school. Before setting off, his father and mother and him would meticulously plan for the three days journey. Each night he would stay with a known relative along the road. His mother would pack roasted sweet plantains and groundnuts as a snack to be eaten along the way. He was expected to be where he had to be on a particular night. He was doing all that in the quest for knowledge. We would excitedly ask many questions about his journey and beg him to tell the story over and over again. He enjoyed himself in our company and used it as an opportunity to motivate us to work hard and smart at school for a better future.

By then I was in a boarding school at Gayaza High School. My father’s story taught me to value education and admire its power to change one’s life. After Kings College Buddo, my father had gone on to get a top job as a clerk in the Resident’s  office  of the British Protectorate in Kampala. Later, he held positions of great responsibility in both Buganda and Uganda government.

By hearing and understanding his unique story, I shed off the sense of entitlement, I stopped getting irritated when the driver came late to pick us at the end of each term. I willed myself to become an all round student academics, sports, just as my father had done. He had been the top student at the entrance interview and the best at graduation. The white headmaster had selected him to stay and teach at Kings College Buddo  as part of the staff development programme but he did not want to become a teacher.

Later , when I read the story of some of the pioneer students who attended Kings College Buddo  from the Kyigezi region about 430 kilometres  southwest of Kampala, my father’s three days trek to Buddo hill seemed like a walk in the park. They took a minimum of two weeks to walk to Buddo!

They had also gone on to become the architects and managers of Uganda’s expanding civil service. They also educated their children at Kings College Buddo  and Gayaza High school.

About forty years after the regular story telling by the spirit lamp, my daughter would fly from Botswana through Johannesburg  to the University of Cape Town, South Africa. On many occasions, I could hear my father telling us his story. I would always appreciate how education had changed his life and later ours and now those of his grandchildren. Each generation has gone on to stretch the limits as they try to offer the best available education to their children.

We are because our father was.

Nelson Mandela, the first president of a free South Africa and one of the great icons of the 20^th century, never underestimated the power of education. He said : “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

The time I spent helping on the farm , reading and story-telling in the evenings,  taught me how to work with  my hands and brain and have the heart to be human- compassionate , engaging  in the world around me fully. I was given a priceless gift.

I became a voracious reader; reading for pleasure, reading to study and reading to explore things. By the age of twenty five years, I had become a global citizen at the price of a novel! This was long before the invention of the Internet – which shrank the world to a global village!

I can never thank my father enough, for starting me on this adventurous journey of a lifetime.  My school which had a big library always made me feel like a kid in a candy store. They say that a book is a gift you can open again and again.

By writing short stories and fiction novels , I am continuing the tradition that my father started in my childhood. Yes, I told stories to my own children and have continued to this day. I cannot wait to tell them to my grandchildren.

As a medical doctor I use facts and information to answer many people’s questions and through my own experiences I help people improve their own lives.

During this almost two months COVID-19 pandemic Lockdown,  I entertain myself and keep going strong without falling into despair by devouring novels , writing short stories and polishing some manuscripts.

“There is no substitute for books  in the life of a child.”-  May Ellen Chase

“The greatest gift is a passion for reading.”– Elizabeth Hardwick

QUESTION: Did you develop the culture of reading early on in your childhood?

How has it contributed to who you are today?

Are you passing on this useful culture to your children and other members of your community?

DAY 13: 20 Minutes With a Celebrity. Who and Why?

Organically-grown tomatoes

Since my return home, I have had to add many new words to my vocabulary but at the same time, I have lost the true meaning of some words like “a celebrity”. I am therefore seeking permission to tweak today’s challenge to:  One Ugandan I would want to spend half a day with and Why.

You have guessed it; it is a “she”, because I am a great supporter of female empowerment.

She is forty years old, full of energy, is driven, innovative, creative and keen to pass on her knowledge and skills to the young. She is a typical Ugandan professional woman, juggling family, motherhood and a career and yet remains a down -to -earth person. For me, she is an ordinary woman who does extraordinary things and she has come to represent the young face of a successful farmer.

Uganda is predominantly an agricultural country with 70% of the population depending on subsistence agriculture in the rural areas and struggling to earn enough to live on from it. Available information shows that the average face of the Ugandan farmer is 52 years and for many years we all believed that one needed to farm a large area to be a successful farmer.

I applaud Dr. Emma Naluyima a Veterinary doctor, Researcher and farmer, of Bwerenga village , Entebbe, Uganda,for dispelling these myths. She is married and is a mother of three. I had a chance encounter with her at a family gathering at her father’s place and I was blown away. She is practicing modern farming on just a one acre of land; the one acre of land was given to her by her father.

She cleared the bush, started a piggery with three female pigs and one boar. She is now laughing all the way to the bank! In ten years, she has grown from strength to strength. She has a piggery, poultry unit and a few dairy cows. She has a banana garden and grows a variety of fruits and vegetables on this one acre land.

What is more interesting is that she recycles almost everything on her farm as she tries to preserve and protect the environment. She allows flies to lay eggs on the fresh cow dung, covers the eggs which then hatch into maggots. She feeds the high protein maggots to her chickens. She introduced earthworms to make humus from the soil, she then uses it to nourish her banana plants and vegetable gardens. Part of the cow dung is converted to renewable, clean energy: biogas. She uses the biogas for cooking in her kitchen.

She is self-sufficient in organically- grown food, fresh fruits and vegetables, milk, eggs and she sells the extra produce to the community. Some years back, she resigned from her well paying government job as a Vet, currently this one acre farm is the main source of her livelihood.

Being both an entrepreneur and a forward-looking person, she started MST Junior Academy close to her farm , to pass on her knowledge and skills to the young. She believes very strongly that the youth are our future.  If young minds are exposed and made to engage in farming at an early age, they will grow up wanting to be more and doing more as farmers.  They will learn to be useful to themselves and their communities.

Nana Obadie rightly said: “ Youth are the root of the world and the seed of the womb.”

Such young people will always be too busy running their small projects like Rabbits rearing to have time to engage into bad habits like alcohol and drug abuse. Like their teacher and mentor, they will start small and grow. They will make farming attractive to the young and they will appreciate the culture of earning their own money from hard work.

How I wish that the Ministry of Agriculture could start and maintain learning centres or demonstration farms like this one between five districts in the whole country. I may be wrong but I think it would reduce the migrations from villages to towns.

While growing up in the 1960s, we had two homes; one in the city centre and one right in the village beyond Mityana town, about seventy kilomtres from Kampala city. By then my father was one of the most highly paid officers but still he ran a mixed farm of coffee, bananas, fresh fruits and vegetables and kept a herd of cows and goats  and local chickens. Apart from fresh fish, bread and confectionary items, we never bought any food. The farm was the main source of income to our family. Then came the serial interruptions of the civil wars of the late 70s and early 80s and things changed for the worse. Farms could not be maintained in such a fluid environment and many young people migrated to other countries in search of better opportunities and stability.

Dr. Emma Naluyima, thank you for giving farming a new and young face, being a trail blazer in successful small scale farming, for elevating farming to its rightful place in our society and last but not least for sharing your skills and knowledge with the young and anyone who wants to be like you.

I think I would want to spend a whole day with you not just half a day because your passion , courage, innovation  and determination  are very inspirational to both the young and old. You are doing what you love and earning good money out of it.

“ All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them. “- Walt Disney

QUESTION:

How far are you along the journey of living the life of your dreams?

 

Day: 11   Something/ Things I miss in the Lockdown

I know myself too well to know that I thrive best when I am surrounded by people especially loved ones.

I believe that we are given to each other to be there for each other. We give to one another and enrich each other’s life. I am of the conservative type who still believe that physical interaction with people requires me to move where the people are or they move to where I am. In this lockdown I cannot do what I want when I want it. It has robbed me of some control over my own life.

I understand very well that the lockdown is for my own health and safety as well as the health and safety of others. It is also temporary but as a human being, at times I find myself thinking that this lockdown at home-cum-cage is now running my life. Yes, I can easily communicate with my loved ones and friends by calling them or talk to them on WhatsApp or Skype but these have their limitations too.

The psychologists tell us that Communication is the bedrock of all human relationships. Effective, open communication is about 30- 40% verbal and 60-70% non-verbal. I can easily get to know what is going on with any of my children by just a simple handshake- of course now thrown out by the COVID-19 pandemic safety regulations, by hands being rubbed over the chin or hands raised in the air in resignation and a simple shrug of the shoulders. Eyes can widen in fear or joy or be closed in confusion, a genuine smile with the eyes and a spring in the gait conveys their confidence to me.

The “Hullo. I’m fine,” that I hear on the phone, reveals very little about the speaker.

I spent the fourteen years of my formal education in one boarding school near Kampala. I never felt that I was caged in because the school is built on a large area that includes a big library, a farm, several sports fields, tennis courts, a chapel, a tuck shop, a sick bay and an amphitheatre. We were encouraged to know each other well , forge friendships and  to engage fully in the school activities which even included  a Visiting club to  help out the elderly in the surrounding village. There was never a dull moment from the time I woke up at 6 am to the time I slept at 10 pm. I knew exactly when the new term would end before it even started.

This unprecedented COVID-19 pandemic lockdown just happened; at the rate the virus was spreading and killing people all over the world , no country had time to prepare for the lockdown. Most people just stayed where they were. I am lucky that I am not alone at home; at least I have my mother and young helper with me. We try to turn each day into a game by entertaining ourselves and keeping ourselves busy. We exercise, spend some time in our small garden, cook meals together, listen to the Ministry of Health Safety Guidelines  and updates and the President’s speeches. We pray together and listen to great music on the radio, TV and Internet.

 However, the uncertainty still hangs over us because neither the Scientists and doctors nor the government know when the lockdown will end.

Life still goes on. Sometimes, wearing a mask, I walk down to the supermarkets to buy a few groceries but a number of items may not be in stock. This is when I miss doing what I want when I want plus the freedom of movement. I would just get into a car and buy them elsewhere. I have lost some relatives and friends during this lockdown and I feel sorry that I cannot be physically with the bereaved families to support them.

The COVID-19 pandemic lockdown has shrunk my world and limited the physical interactions with loved ones but it has helped me to build a stronger relationship with my mother having  missed her for the twenty two years I was in economic exile, and my new helper. Using the fresh harvest of sweet bananas from our garden , the young lady has taught me how to make pancakes- kabalagala. I am becoming better at it each time we prepare some. My regular supplier in Wandegeya will not like to hear this at all.

I am grateful that I am not alone in the house, that I have a small garden where I can spend time connecting with nature and the best part: I can escape from it all by immersing myself in Creative writing and reading with less distractions and interruptions.

I never forget to thank God  Almighty  for the outcome  so far. As of the 28/04/2020,Uganda had tested a total of 20329 suspects of which  79  were confirmed , 52 of these  are Recoveries and no deaths among them or the attending health care workers.  I thank, cheer and commend our health care workers for their dedication and hard work at the front line while at the same time carrying their own fears and worries about the hidden enemy.

I remain hopeful that the highly infectious COVID-19 will not spread into the community to overwhelm our fragile health care system and warrant the extension of the Lockdown beyond 5^th May 2020.

These two quotes should uplift and encourage us to keep walking and learning as we go.

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.”– Unknown

“When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.” – Zig Zigla

QUESTIONS :

In this unprecedented lockdown, which big obstacle have you been able to turn into an advantage or game? What motivated you to do it ?

Day 7: Best Relationship Advice

Day 7: Best Relationship Advice

I have been around for a while so I have experiences of my own,I have observed others and I know. All in all, experience is the best teacher but still the wisest among us learn from others’ mistakes. Life is essentially about relationships and the  choices we make which themselves have consequences. You have a relationship with your God, yourself, your spouse, your family, your friends and other people around you.

Man is a social animal, naturally seeking companionship of others as part of his well being. He goes about life looking for acceptance, affirmation, approval and acknowledgement. It gives us a sense of belonging.

 It takes two to tango but no two relationships are the same because each individual brings something to the relationship and contributes to its joy or misery.  It takes a lifetime to grow a rewarding, satisfying and lasting relationship. There is a very old song  : Take Time to Know Her – it’s not an overnight thing. It takes a lot of work , commitment , dedication  and sometimes some sacrifice.

What I am writing here is the best advice that I would give to my son and daughter- in –law  or my daughter and son-in-law or  any of my friends ‘children and their spouses. I would give it gladly with the intention of helping them create healthy relationship that will grow every day to enrich the two people in it.

From my own experiences, my observations of others and from what I have come to know for sure, these are the four main ingredients of a healthy,loving relationship:

1. LOVE–  True love is the foundation of any robust relationship.

With love everything is possible because love covers everything. This love starts from each individual loving, accepting and respecting herself /himself for who he/she is- strengths and weakness, the good, the bad and ugly. Filled with such love then you can go out confidently and love your partner for who he /she is not for what you want her/him to be.

I wasted a lot of time trying to change my husband only to find out later that the only person I could change was myself. You love unconditionally and polish it up every day with small acts of kindness otherwise it withers and dies.

There is one book that I wish I had read many times over early on in my life, I would have been a better companion but the book came out in 1992. It is called  The Five Love Languages  by an American  Relationship counselor, Gary Chapman. Ironically, his marriage was almost falling apart when he came up with the ideas in that book and it saved his marriage. Chapman believes that there are 5 primary languages in which love can be expressed and be experienced in a romantic relationship. Each individual has a dominant and  special way he/she wants love expressed to her/him.  Failing to receive love in that form, he/she will feel unloved, uncared for.

The 5 primary Love languages are :

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

People give love mostly in their primary love language and expect it back in that form.

You can easily discover your spouse’s  primary Love language by observing how he/she expresses love to you and what he/ she complains about in the relationship most of the time.

I speak the  ‘ Quality Time’ language.

When you speak to the spouse in the language he/ she knows , you speak to her/his mind but when you speak to her/him in her/his own language you speak to her/his heart.

When you discover your partner’s primary Love language   and speak it to her loud and clear 24/7, she will feel loved and cared for. This great feeling will fire her/him to give love back to you in your own primary Love language.

When you predominantly give me words of affirmation and yet I am for Quality Time, you could be speaking Greek to me as far as loving me is concerned.

This book is a gem and I would recommend it to anyone, young and old who is in a relationship. Reading it together, as often as possible, will take your relationship to greater heights day by day.  Remember it saved Chapman’s marriage.

 Feeling loved and cared for is an incredible feeling. Such love trickles through everything you do. You become creative and most times you create miracles of life- children, out of that love in your heart. The Taj Mahal, a palace in India was built by a Shah in 1632 to house the tomb of his favourite wife. Most master pieces of Art are created out of great love in the artist’s heart.

2. RESPECT– Like love, trust and loyalty , respecting your spouse starts with you respecting yourself.

Respect yourself for what you are as a human being; your strengths and flaws then you can confidently respect and love your partner for who he/she is and consider her/his wishes and feelings before making decisions.  You respect your partner as an equal ; trust her/him and have faith in  her/his  judgment. You may not agree about things all the time but choose to disagree amicably.

Over time, as you get to know each other better, the respect tends to grow and you become each other’s best friend.

Oddly enough, you can love someone without respecting him/her but then that won’t be a healthy relationship and is hard to sustain.

3. TRUST- This is the faith you have in your partner that he/she will always love you and be loyal enough to stand by you. Each partner has to work to deserve to be trusted by the other. You have to mean what you say and do what you say.  As actions speak louder than words, by your actions and behavior, you prove that you are dependable and reliable. It takes time and hard work for you to build enough trust in your spouse to  feel secure and confide in you. Trusting one another brings out the best in each other thus contributing to the growth of your love for each other.The most absurd thing is that it takes long to build trust but it can be broken by one betrayal. Once trust is lost, it may take years to rebuild it.

4. Open and Honest Communication– I would say that this is what strings things together in a relationship. Social animals communicate with one another mainly for survival. We all fear what we do not know or do not understand so talking to one another, talking things through makes us secure.  When you understand you forgive and then you love and when you love you never hurt but instead you protect your loved one. We communicate to be understood. Communication is about 40%  verbal and about 60% non-verbal so observe the facial expressions, movements and gestures.  Social interaction is essential for our emotional and mental well being.

Effective communication has to be open and honest;talk about everything  and anything in your lives- no secrets.  What you do not talk about has the power to enslave you. You express your needs , wants, desires to your partner to help her/him understand what you want from her/him. Both of you have to learn to be good listeners- listening with a third ear to go beyond understanding what is being said but at the same time pick unstated needs and fears. Listening to one another is a sign of respect.  Without effective communication unwanted problems arise and small ones grow bigger.

I used to play Tennis in my youth, it taught me a lot of things about life itself.

A healthy relationship with two people in love with each other especially when united as one in marriage can be compared to a good Tennis game. A good player connects with the ball, anticipates and prepares and then hits the ball. The more you learn how to raise your partner’s game, the more you enjoy the game. In any exciting game, you are as good as a your opponent. You respond in such a way as to help your partner make it through the struggles. A good game always demands mental strength and total focus without distractions.

They say that to love is to be alive; engaging fully with life and your surroundings.

The lockdown intended to slow down the spread of the COVID-19 virus and to help in saving lives, is likely to continue in most of our countries. In my country, Uganda ,  we have 55 confirmed cases so far of whom 5 have been discharged, Thankfully, we have no associated deaths among the cases and the health care providers. The Lockdown  was extended for another 21 days  as of 15/04/20. We expected the extension which even includes a curfew from 7pm to 7am the question was : for how long?

We brace ourselves for another 21 days; confined in our homes for our own safety and for the safety of others.

  In today’s world, we want to control things to the point of predicting the outcome in a given situation but then this new virus has rendered us all: rich and poor, black and white ,powerless . No one knows when it will end or the overall social and economic effect it will have on our lives. Consequently, we are stressed , anxious and confused . Looking back at Wuhun, China, the first epicenter of the COVID-19 pandemic, it took 76 days of tight lockdown and testing to relax the restrictions gradually.

What can help us to go through this lockdown with relative ease, is for us not to lose hope and to remain positive. Nothing lasts forever, it will end and each day brings us closer to that eventuality. To remain hopeful and positive , each one of us has the responsibility to be kind and to spread joy other than panic and fear. Having said that, I would advise that you also pay attention to what you experience every day so that you pick the lessons you need to learn to inform the resetting of your life now and in the future. In life, no experience is ever wasted.

“ Do not throw a grenade, it is already messy,” I have had someone advise.

We should all be striving to brighten up our lives and other people’s lives too.

 In my own simple way, I am trying to bring colour and energy into our lives by sharing some colourful photos from my collection.

I hope they will colour your life too and keep you hopeful and enthusiastic about life.

Colourful and inviting to the eyes and to the palate. The yellow colour evokes warmth and comfort while red evokes love and excitement.

 Lush green shrubs and trees- the leaves glistening in the sunlight, remind me that to live is to be really alive: aware of who you are and your surroundings and engaging fully with life. Connecting with Nature helps me find my place in the universe and reminds me of my important duty of  protecting and preserving it for future generations.

 It calms and relaxes my soul. It always reminds me that I have to be calm and peaceful to think rationally.

The iconic, rugged Table Mountains , Cape Town , South Africa.

When it rains long enough, even the desert blooms

The tall coconut tree-  able to survive hurricanes! It belongs to a family of old trees which have evolved over million of years to withstand their harsh environment. They have spongy tissues and root ball systems that spread  over a big surface area to tap nourishment and water.

I agree with the behavioural psychologists that  our true perception of colours is deeply rooted in our experiences and culture.

At the moment, the majority of us are living in confined spaces but each one can make some  effort to go out and simply create the life he/she wants under these difficult  and  unprecedented times. Like the professional artist, little by little , day by day, each one of us can create beauty and significance  in her/his life using her/his gifts, talents and imagination.  Being technology- savvy keeps you kilometers ahead.

Even in this COVID-19 – induced lockdown, the clock has not stopped and life is still an adventure . I am required to apply  some passion, perseverance, patience, a sense of adventure and discipline, to  create the life I want for myself. I have all the colours of the rainbow to choose from as I paint the canvas of my life.  Using bold, bright colours will help me to keep my enthusiasm for life. Every day, I have to motivate myself by believing that I have to go through this experience to rise to another level of mastery. Challenges and struggles make our lives interesting and overcoming them gives us more confidence and power.

Like the coconut trees which evolved to become flexible and adaptable to withstand hurricanes, during this pandemic , we are truly growing, hardening and evolving.  Many of us will still be standing when the COVID-19 pandemic  is over and we shall be stronger, wiser and more adventurous .

One famous quote by Robert H. Schuller has come to my mind: Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

QUESTION:

What kind of routine have you developed to  help you  find optimal well being physically, emotionally and mentally  during this Lockdown period?

STAY SAFE, STAY HEALTHY.

 

In many countries of the world, women  are poorer and are marginalized compared to the men. The earliest Women’s Day was observed in New York in February 1909. On March 8^th 1917, a demonstration of the women working in the textile factories  in the then Russian Empire, over food shortages and a weak economy  sparked off the Russian Revolution. A week later, Tsar Nicholas 11 of Russia abdicated and the women won their rights to vote.

At the first UN women’s conference  held in Mexico in 1975, the United Nations declared  1975-1985 as the Women’s decade. It  was to draw attention to the plight of women and  to focus on policies and issues that would  improve their status  in the world. It also adopted 8^th March as the International Women’s Day.

The day serves to recognise the women and girls contribution towards the development and progress of society. It also serves to acknowledge the achievements made and how far women still have to go in the battle of equal rights. In Uganda, the day was first officially celebrated in 1984, a year before the end of the UN Decade for women. The conference to mark the end of the UN Women’s Decade and to chart the way forward was held in Nairobi, Kenya July 1985. Women delegations from 160 countries in the world converged in Nairobi. Surprisingly, I was included in the Uganda delegation as a medical doctor at the eleventh hour. Women have been graduating as medical doctors in Uganda, since 1959!

I was the youngest member of our delegation. A military coup occurred in Uganda during the three weeks we were away. The Obote 11 government was overthrown by a faction of the army headed by  Brig Bazilio Okello and six months later, the National Resistance Army commanded by Yoweri Museveni toppled  Okello’s government.

When the dust settled, a few of us lobbied the new National Resistance Movement government for a Ministry of Women in Development to drive the agenda of empowering women to actively participate in the development of Uganda and to fight for their rights. Since women’s health and development feed each other, I organized a group of Women doctors around Kampala to establish the Association of Uganda Women Doctors .Our main objective was  to promote and protect the health of women and children and the general population. We strongly believed that  women had to be healthy to participate fully in development.

I celebrated the International Women’s Day, 8^th March 2020 ,  a day early with the young medical students at Makerere University Teaching Hospital, Mulago. The students organized some activities to mark the day under the theme: The Woman Within. The activities included aerobics and Salsa and a panel discussion about the Women Doctors’ Association, etiquette, entrepreneurship and relationships.

Then on Sunday , I chose to attend the Old girls-led worship service at my old school, Gayaza High school. The singing, the praise and thanksgiving was comforting to all of us after last Friday’s fire that gutted Corby house . The Lord of the storm was in our midst.

At home, my octogenarian mother celebrated the day watching the official government celebrations in Mbale,  about 225 kilometres northeast of  Kampala. The activities organized under the theme:  Celebrating 25 years of the 1995 Constitution, were to celebrate the women and their contribution to the development of our country. The 1995 constitution made women and men equal before and under the law and entitled to all the rights and freedoms in it. All in all, some achievements have been made but still there is a huge gap between policy and practice.

 My mother watched in fascination, pausing only to pick water or fresh fruits from the refrigerator or use the bathroom. The degenerative arthritis has slowed down her movements but she still has the will to struggle against it. Currently, among the things she looks out for on the television  are: the consecration of a Catholic bishop,  the church services celebrating the Kabaka’s  coronation anniversary and birthday and the Women’s Day Celebration.  She is one woman who struggled to find her sense of autonomy by committing to her children, work and belief system but still remained feminine.

At 12 noon, I found her glued to the television watching the march -past parade led by the women in the Army and Police. A number of speeches followed while I went in and out of the sitting room doing my usual chores. It did not end until twenty minutes to 4pm! She called me out loud to watch the grand finale of the celebrations: the presentation of medals to honour  82 women for their distinguished service to our nation.

“ Do you know any of these women being recognised today?”she asked.

I laughed, “Mama, I’ve been away for more than two decades, I ‘d not know any of the young officers who have come up through   ranks.’’

I listened more carefully. At least I knew Angelina  Wapakhabulo, Lydia Wanyoto, Tsekooko and Beatrice Namukabya.

A Message  alert signal  led me to check my phone. It was from Faith, a classmate in Gayaza High School. She is an engineer married in Kenya. She was informing me that her mother was among those being honoured .

I sat tight and waited . Mrs. Miriam Lumonya ‘s name  was read out , unfortunately I  did not see her join the group. As the Coronavirus has taken over our lives, there were no handshakes with the President or among the women themselves.

“ Does anyone ever remember to honour in some way the women in the villages? They ‘re the architects of our communities. They give until they can give no more.”

“ I ‘ve no idea but I ‘d think that each district would honour its own heroines.”

I understood my mother’s concern for the women deep in the rural areas of Uganda. 70% of Ugandan women live in the rural areas, starting their day at 5am and ending it 11pm!

Our patriarchal society has preordained them  to being the primary caregivers- they take care of their husbands, children, the elderly and the sick. They  are so consumed by this role that they forget to take care of themselves. They have little power, authority and they undervalue themselves. They tend to sacrifice their autonomy to relationships.

In this state , they can never find their unique rhythm, their wisdom or their sense of what is uniquely theirs to give. They cannot factor their own needs into the network of caring relationships. They badly need help to find the balance between responsibility for others and responsibility to oneself.

To me, these are the unsung heroines  of the Women’s Day and the best one known to me is my mother!

My mother lost her father at a very tender age , she had one big sister and a younger brother. They grew up with their mother who refused to remarry into the husband’s family as the culture dictated. She instead committed to her children. The elder sister walked about three kilometres to the nearest Catholic school of the area. Recognizing that my mother was too small to walk that journey, my grandmother pleaded with the headmaster of the nearby Protestant school  to take on her daughter. It was done but it was unheard of at that time!

A Catholic priest from the Lugazi Diocese  was on his routine tour of the parish when he was told of a Catholic girl attending a Protestant school. Father Bohn talked to my grandmother( through an interpreter) and persuaded her to allow her daughter to join the Catholic boarding primary school of Mt. Saint Mary’s Namagunga.  The Irish missionary nun , Mother Mary Kevin Kearney ( 1875- 1957)had in February 1942, opened the school to promote the education of girls. She wanted to increase the opportunities and  help them lead better lives in our patriarchal society.  She also believed that if these educated girls grew up and married educated Catholic men , they would bring up Catholic children.

My mother spent six years in Mother Kevin’s school then joined Nsambya Catholic  Nursing and Midwifery school for three years. The school had also been started by Mother Mary Kevin since she believed that  Uganda needed its own teachers and nurses. The midwives would reduce the maternal and infant deaths.

My mother completed midwifery and was planning to take up Nursing after two years but then my father appeared on the scene. Recognizing that my father was much older than my mother,  my grandmother  was reluctant to give away her daughter.

” My daughter needs a cushion to fall back on. No one knows what the future holds.”

My mother worked for three years then out of my father’s persistence, grandmother blessed their union. They had six of us and we were what I would call a happy family.

Then thirteen years later, without any warning, my mother left home and went back to work as a midwife.That is what she wanted for her life. Probably she found her identity in work. My father never understood why she had traded-off her easy life for a working one!

For thirty years she worked in several maternity centres in the central region. She worked with passion, took opportunities to train and grow. She rose through the ranks. She worked for more than ten years at her last station, Nakifuma, 26 kilometres  northeast of Mukono.

At one time , she had delivered most of the children of the village. It earned her a new name :Omuzaalisa we Nakifuma ( the midwife of Nakifuma) and it earned her a lot of respect and free gifts. Her Maternity unit became a teaching centre for the Lugazi area.

Two weeks ago, I met Dr. Adam Kimala, one of her supervisors , he was full of praise for her.

My happiest moment was in 1982 when I was a first  year Postgraduate student in Obstetrics & Gynaecology  at  the  University Teaching hospital, Mulago. A young woman was referred to us  from Nakifuma maternity centre because she was bleeding  in her late pregnancy. We quickly operated on her, delivered a normal baby and saved the mother. I recognised my mother’s handwriting on the referral  form! By then things were operating relatively well,  there was a functional referral system; one ambulance served four clinics in the district. My mother  was extremely proud of being a member of a functional health care system.

I asked her about her concerns at the present time.

She lives near the Kawempe  Referral Women’s hospital and  her niece  works there as a senior midwife. The niece has told her that the patients overwhelm the number of staff.

My mother wonders why many women are being delivered by Caesarian section  and that a number of these mothers and the babies die. The fact that a number of women still deliver unassisted by health workers and  that every day, 16 women die in Uganda from pregnancy  and childbirth –related causes  , nags her conscience.

The teenage pregnancies also concern her. She begs the adults to allow these girls to become adults before they become mothers.

The last time she visited Nakifuma maternity centre, it was a rundown place. She is not likely to go back.

She has a great sense of radical thankfulness and celebration of her life; she mothered seven children, committed to midwifery, saving women’s lives over thirty years and was able to be both true to herself and to commit to the things and people she loves. She has remained a staunch Catholic  and feels that she has in her own way played a role in raising the status of women in society like her teacher:Mother Mary Kevin.                                              

She remains my unsung heroine.

“ A woman becomes better at multitasking when she becomes a mother.”– Anonymous

QUESTION:

Has this post helped you to see how in your own way you can assist the  woman in the rural area balance her responsibility to others with her responsibility to herself?

THE YOUNG AND THE VIBRANT

A few days ago, I was given an opportunity through the Pamela Kadama  Senkatuka Foundation to visit my old school to introduce the Career  Guidance Programme to the Form 1 students. The foundation was set up in June 2015  to carry forward the legacy of a young ,enthusiastic electrical and telecommunication engineer who in her short life played the role of  a change agent wherever she was stationed.  She was an alumnus of Gayaza High School.

Because of the examples set by my father and the young, vibrant church Missionary teachers at my school, giving back to the community I live in is as natural to me as breathing.

As a Christian I am very much aware of what is required of me:  To whom much is given , much will be required. ( Luke 12:48)

We are blessed  not to contain but to bless others through giving and sharing.

Maya Angelou said: “When you learn , teach and when you get, give.”

My fourteen years at Gayaza High School  endowed  me with many remarkable gifts and abilities like Christian values and principles, the Never Give Up spirit  and lifetime friendships. They shaped me into whom I am today. What I learned years ago on the school farm, during the housework period, in the school plays and on the sports teams still has meaning today. My way of giving back to this great school is to uphold its values and principles and become a role model  and create young role models by the way I live my life.

Among the most thrilling words that one can be told are: “ When I grow up , I want to be like you- helping people and enjoying it.”

 I have met many young girls who want to grow up and be like Dr.  Specioza Wandira Kazibwe, a surgeon,  wife, mother,  and the first woman Vice President of Uganda or Julia Sebutinde, a Ugandan judge on the International Court of Justice.

These  ordinary women struggled against all odds  to become extraordinary in  our patriarchal society! They ,changed the mindset and possibilities of young women much more and faster than the policies and laws on paper.

Many times, I have been thrilled to meet young doctors who became doctors out of the desire to be like me and women who became lawyers after seeing Mrs. Sarah  Bagalaaliwo’s voluntary efforts to help women at FIDA- the Uganda chapter of International Federation of Women Lawyers.

On a warm , sunny day , a group of us including grandmothers, mothers and  young women of different professions, spent almost two hours with the 280 newly admitted  Form 1 students in that majestic school chapel. They were seated on the same pews that I  had sat on  decades ago! For some minutes , I was confused whether the school uniform had been changed since they were all wearing white blouses and black skirts. These girls aged between 12-14 years  were the cream of the a thousand or so students who applied for admission to this 115 years old Church-founded school.This admission in itself confers upon  them some form of privilege and burdens them  with  huge  expectations from the school, family and society.

 I hoped that it was not lost on them that privileges are always tagged with responsibilities, more opportunities come with challenges and  that all choices  have consequences.The students of the Class 2020, looked so young, so vibrant  that they reminded me of my teenage years donkey’s years ago.  They are today’s young ones,  full of trust and optimism. In this digital era, they are the igeneration –defined by their technology and media use,  their love for electronical consumerism and their need to multitask.

During my time- the Baby Boomer generation, the school was the epitome of social progress; admitting students from all the districts of Uganda.  Miss Joan Cox(RIP),the headmistress of the time, would take off time to visit all the 35 or so districts, looking for bright, all – round students and encourage them to join the school. For the less fortunate students, bursaries would be arranged from their district education offices. I have to admit and with pride that the Gayaza High School  of my time was  the most integrated community in Uganda. This diversity of tribes would later pay high dividends to the students as they progressed through universities and their working lives.

Career guidance during my time took the form of old students of the school who had become teachers, doctors, physiotherapists, agricultural scientists, lecturers and some professional parents like the late Dr. F.G Sembeguya, being invited  to talk to us about their careers and lives. The talks would be arranged  during some selected Sunday morning chapel services. These exposures helped us to  find our passions, gifts and desires. In between , the teachers would  endeavour to  advance our career prospects. As expected, gifted students who excelled at both Arts and Science subjects  and were not sure of what exactly they wanted to do in life, would find it difficult to make the choices.  Parents and teachers’ pressures prevailed upon them.  Later in life, a few confessed that they  had joined medicine just because they were good at the required entry subjects  of Physics, Chemistry, Biology and others took up law because they were good at English, History and Literature in English and Geography. I know  of a few who took up professions just because their fathers wanted  them to. Of these, a few changed later  to professions or vocations of their choice

That seemed enough at that time but we are now in the 21^st century; times have changed and many things have changed. In this science and technology-driven era, students need career guidance much more than any other time in the past.

Why Career Guidance is so important today :

1. The world is constantly changing and changing fast too. Change is now the new normal. Tomorrow is likely to be too different from today.
2. Digital technology has radically changed the workplace for ever. Some jobs are disappearing while new ones keep coming up. Automation and the use of Robots have eliminated some jobs while at the same time creating some new ones. The office space has changed too- some people can work on laptops or iphones  from home.
3. There are no permanent jobs for life and there are no permanent skills in such a fluid  work environment
4. Since the English scientist Tim  Berners -Lee invented the World Wide Web and released  it to the public in August 1991, the world was reduced to a Global Village.
5. This technology –driven era is a Solution –orientated: those who innovate and create solutions to the biggest challenges facing their communities like deforestation, plastics recycling and clean energy will build viable businesses and make a lot of money.

Career Guidance offered at the earliest time possible in the life of a student is extremely essential.

It directs the individual on the right path, helps her/him determine the direction of her/his life and to adjust maximally to the environment.

Through career guidance, students  can make mature and informed decisions about their  lives and the future.

At the beginning of my conversation with the students, I asked those who knew what they wanted to do in life to raise their hands, more than half did. I asked those who were not sure of what they wanted to do in life, many hands went up and then I asked those who did not know what they wanted to do, five brave girls raised their hands. I reassured them that at their age it was too early to be sure and it was normal not  to know. Getting to choose a career or occupation is a long process that starts  on the day you get to know who you are deep down but could change at any level in one’s life. What will matter later is for the students to acquire the skills they will need to survive and flourish in times of change; making them useful to themselves and useful and relevant to society.

Most of us know and the psychologists confirm that each individual is unique; having strength and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Each one has unique gifts and talents if well applied, help each one to be integrated  into society and to make  a social contribution to the development of the country and the world at large. The moment one recognizes the great story that informs her/his life , he/she is liberated to explore ways of creating a life which facilitates the expression of that self. This long process starts at home and later follows through to schools , through university and through working life. Living your own story makes you feel deeply satisfied, feel that there is meaning  in your life- it just feels right to be useful and helpful to others.

No life no matter how successful and exciting it might be, will make you happy if it is not your life. And no life will make you miserable if it is genuinely your own. You live your story day-to-day.

The happiest people in the world are those doing what they love and are being paid well for it. “ I ‘m doing this job because it is something I needed to do and because I wanted to give something of myself to others and I wanted to learn.”

As career Guidance is a process, and the global working environment continues to be dynamic, I have no doubt that I shall be visiting my school many times in the future to follow through our team work.

They say that,“ The hunt isn’t over until both your heart and your belly are full.”

The school still looks safe and peaceful so I would like to thank most sincerely all those teachers, students, parents , old girls and friends who have supported and maintained the school. To the teachers, thank you for helping the students to develop habits, skills and mindsets that build their social, emotional and academic capabilities. The school still promotes a sense of community and through sports, artwork, housework, student –designed projects and student-led conferences develops the “whole” student.

They say that, “ The future comes to us, one second at a time.”

QUESTIONS: Was it easy for you to determine which career you wanted to follow in life?

Do you think that offering Career guidance in schools helps the students to make their own decisions about their future?