A traditional Christmas tree with the Star of Bethlehem at the top. It was decorated by my daughter and her four years old daughter.
I am a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. When we had sinned and separated ourselves from God, our Father, Jesus was called by the Spirit of the Lord to put us right with God.
This was born out of God’s love, mercy and faithfulness to us.
John 3:16 reads : For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.
It is this great love and sacrifice that should not be lost in the hustles and bustles of the Christmas season.
After the shepherds, the three wise men from the east, were the second group of people to look for Jesus in the town of Bethlehem in Judea guided by the star in the east. They presented the baby Jesus with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The gift giving of Christmas is linked to the spirit of giving gladly.
Giving to those in need is considered as an act worship of God. God delights in doing good things for us so we should also find great pleasure in giving to others every day, throughout the 365 days not just at Christmas time. God loves a cheerful giver.
My favourite quote about giving says: “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.’’- Kahlil Gibran
It is good to know that at Xmas time, the world shares the thought of giving and sharing which itself reflects caring about others.
I have celebrated more than sixty-five Christmases and as I look back, I realise that getting the right gift to the right person changes as one grows older and what he/she considers most important in life changes.
When I was under 12 years old, my perfect gifts for the season were dresses, shoes, dolls, books and sweets and cakes.
As a teenager, it was about the trendy wear of the day, a book and some Quality Street Assorted Chocolates Sweets!
30s-40s – Something that could add real value to me. Something I could use over and over again like a pair of golden ear rings or an African beads necklace.
50-60 – Something that increased my joy, fun and trust of the human being. It varied simply from spending quality time with loved ones, what makes me feel alive and special, opportunities to contribute to the well- being of others and guiding others into helping themselves and reaching their full potential.
65+ The wisdom of Age has taught me that the secret of living is giving and that non- economic ways of giving to others in the form of presence, attention, encouragement and compliments are more fulfilling to the giver than bought gifts.
Acts 20:35 reads: It is more blessed to give than to receive. We live in an era of consumerism and most of us have become addicted to the emotional boost of buying something new. Simply collecting goods and material possessions. In the process we may forget those in need.
Giving the right Gift.
I can vividly recall the smiles on my face when I was given what I really wanted at that moment in time. Not forgetting that each gift represented love, hope and kindness of the giver.
Giving the right gift involves listening and observing to know the needs, desires and wishes of the receiver. Mothers are endowed with this intuition!
After all, giving gladly has mutual benefits; : it enriches the receiver and the donor. It nurtures and enriches our relationships.
“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.’’ – Will Smith.
Research in human behaviour by the psychologists proves that giving others gladly makes us happy. Using Brain Imaging, it shows that both giving gifts and receiving gifts activates core areas of our brains associated with reward and pleasure. When these areas are activated, they release the ‘feel good chemicals like Serotonin and Dopamine which give us a sense of pleasure. This explains why we feel good when we give to others.
Most times, we are motivated to give to others without expecting anything back out of empathy, compassion, love and humility.
“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.’’- Mother Teresa.
Love is action; it has to be expressed in small acts of kindness that add up to build the big picture- caring about a person. The receiver feels that he/she matters.
For a true believer in Christ, faith is expressed in actions done with love, for love and in love.
Toxic Giving.
Like all human interactions, giving can be abused. Some people who want to control and manipulate others in abusive relationships use gifts.
Some charity organisations can also offer toxic charity to the poor by giving them what they can gain by their own initiative. The giver focuses on the rewards other than the benefits received by the served. In the process they turn the poor into dependants on the charity.
“When we do for those in need what they have capacity to do for themselves, we disempower them.’’ – Robert d. Lupton
Having received gifts from my parents for many years and learned to give generously to my children who are now giving to their children and myself I am reminded with absolute clarity of the greatest gift which parents can give to their children.
As a child, I remember being told by my parents that the greatest gift they could give me could never be bought from a toy shop or wrapped up into a box. That gift was how they were to live their lives as role models to me. By doing exactly what they wanted me to do and be, they inspired and empowered me to be principled , authentic and a decent human being. I will remain for ever grateful to them for liberating me to be myself: authentically happy, fulfilled, whole and always wanting to be more and do more for myself others.
I never understood what they meant until many years later when as a medical student, I spent three months in training about mental illnesses and their causes, at the national mental hospital then.
That experience revealed to me how the relationships with children and their parents had a lasting effect on the children’s relationships with themselves and other people. The parents’ influence always remains present in the conscious or unconscious level. When parents live their lives as models of honesty, integrity, authentic while acknowledging their flaws as human beings, it empowers their children to live their own lives in their own rights. They learn some coping mechanisms from their parents and learn to find moment –by-moment delight in daily life. It attracts like-minded people towards them. Their parents set them free to be their own authority in adulthood.
When parents fail to live out their lives as role models to their children, the parents’ unlived life of abandoned dreams, unrealised values, incomplete realisation of their life’ s vision, leaves their children in misery and suffering. They are closed up to the full creative expression of who they can truly be. Such awkward moments cause anxiety and depression which may last long.
Looking back at my life, I am grateful that after a loving and supportive family, I have always had some genuine and loyal friends who are always willing to do things for me, gift me and my children with presents and time. Amazingly, they are now extending their gift giving to my grandchildren! Thankfully, I have always intentionally endeavoured to give of my time, efforts, energy and resources to them too.
As the Baganda say: Generosity extended to my children and grandchildren is as good as generosity extended to me.
I will always remain grateful to these loyal friends.
My culture has some rich proverbs to encourage generosity among ourselves:
Akatono Okalya nemunno. Loosely translated: Even the little in your hands, can be shared with a friend.
Ekiisa ekitagaana kizaala obulimba: Saying “yes’’ to everything breeds lies.
Entasiima ebula agiwa : A luck of gratitude burns up your blessings.
Alinda biwere alisanga nnyina afudde : If you want to build up your reserves, to gift your mother she will die waiting.
OTHER QUOTES ABOUT GIVING
2 Corinthians 9:7 : You should each give, then, as you have decided, not with regret or out of a sense of duty; for God loves the one who gives gladly.
Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.’’- unknown
“Alone we can do so little ; together we can do so much more.’’ Helen Keller
“ No one has ever become poor by giving.’’- Anne Frank
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.’’ Winston Churchill
“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.’’ -Maya Angelou
“It’s every man’s objective to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.’’ - Albert Einstein
As you look around for the perfect gift at any particular occasion, consider the needs, desires and wishes of the receiver
This Xmas do not allow the original meaning of the Xmas message of sacrifice and giving be lost in the merry making.
The two years of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown crystallised to all of us what is most important in our lives namely: Life itself and nurturing and staying connected to deep, healthy relationships – family and friends.
My dear followers, readers, family and friends thank you for walking with me along this long journey of becoming an outstanding writer and making the world a better place in my small way.
Without your support, I would have made just a few baby’s steps but you and I have been able to walk far since I started this Blog in October 2016.
Thank you very much for your unwavering support and feedback.
Wishing you a Merry Xmas and year filled with love, peace, joy, good health and wealth.
Jane Nannono.
apagefrommunakusbook 